The End

I'm out. I'm done. No more.

And man, was it ever boring.

Two years here and so little to show for it, literary wise, that is. No real great adventure stories or culture clashing anecdotes of any real note. It was just another place, at another time. My experience in living with the Southern Chinese cannot be illustrated with one or two specific stories. It was not an event, as much as a chapter.

It was not a zany adventure. It was a day at work.

I did not give myself the opportunity to see the Great Wall or any of the other eventful things that people usually do when visiting a foreign country. That is because I wasn't visiting there, I was living there. It was all just one more day at the office for me. If I'd had a crapload of money and free time, sure I would have traveled all around, met new and interesting people and places and had oh so many adventures to tell of lost luggage and language barriers...but I didn't. I was too busy making sure I could pay my rent to go backpacking like a lost child.

And, as for the cultural stories, they are more frustrating and confusing then at all entertaining, so I've skipped over them. China is in this odd little place of transition where they are trying to find their own comfort zone between the new influx of Western Influence and the still well-beaten-into-them Mao's China Culture. These growing pains are slow and painful to watch in places like Guangdong, the Alabama of Asia. Understanding it is something that cannot be relayed easily. It something that must be experienced firsthand. Or, rather, having experienced it firsthand for the last two years, I advise that attempting to understand it should be avoided. It will bring you nothing but grief.

So, this blog is coming to a close with out any real value put to it after all. That's okay. While I have no "stories" per se to tell about China, I still gained an "overall" experience that has given me more understanding of human nature and world culture. It's not such a cracking good read now, but it will add more to any future observations that I put into print. That's got to be worth something.

The End.

Southern Discomfort

Before I came here, I decided to break away from American tradition, and I tried to find the place on a map. Much to my surprise I found that the city (I use the term loosely) of Zhongshan lies only a few miles south of the Tropic of Cancer.

"Fantastic" I thought, "tender warmth all year round." At the time, I was suffering through a classic Chicago winter, and this seemed like bliss to me.

Boy howdy, was I wrong. It is freakin' cold here.

However, it seems that I was not the only one duped into expecting mild weather here all year round. As it seems, the sharp cold that has taken place during my two winters here has even caught the locals off guard.

The buildings here have no insulation and no weather proofing. Every structure is a solid concrete bunker with drafty doors and windows and absolutely no carpeting anywhere to be seen. (God help these people if an earthquake hits. They still live under the illusion that the brute strength of concrete is preferable to the tensile flexibility of wood and plaster.)

This latest cold snap came late in the year, with an extended autumn so mild that one could still be comfortable in a t-shirt and shorts well into December. The overall temperature dropped so far so fast that my girlfriend's family has already reported three deaths over the last month.

But, that of course is no match for the National Pride of the unwashed masses(and trust me, they are unwashed). The local news, while admitting to the intense cold, is stating that it's is only a record cold for the last couple years. Meanwhile, my girlfriend's father can state with clear confidence that it's been at least 20 years (if not longer) since he's seen it this bad.

And, when the New Year celebrations began, I watched from my balcony as thousands of locals huddled together on the soccer field across from me to watch the fireworks go off. I don't know which was funnier, the fact that it was so cold the crowd couldn't even get out a proper "Ooh, aah," or that the fireworks were set off so low to the ground that the concussion set off every car alarm in a 6 block radius.

So, what is the deal? Is it just one of those things where once every couple of decades or so the planet has to do some climate defraging? Or does it have something to do with the fact that the Chinese have been clear cutting forests, leveling mountains, and pumping god knows what into the air from their hundreds of thousands of God Knows What factories for the last ten years straight?

I don't have the answers, all I know is I'm not coming out from under this blanket until I hear birds chirping; and that's final.

Check me out....(Part 3)

China's Best Kept Secret

Imagine, if you will, that it is the year 1849 and you have packed up all your worldly belongings and made the death-defying trek out west. You did this, like so many others before you (and many more to follow), because you heard that they found gold there. And since thing's aren't going to hot for you in the Carolina's, you figured it was worth the chance.

Now imagine that once you arrive, you find out that the California Government already has all the gold, they're only sharing it with their friends, and (most importantly) they're lying about how much gold there is.

Most of this is not at all surprising. After all, that is what governments do. They establish their power under the guise of "helping society" then, once they have won society's trust, systematically put operations in place to make sure society never gets the chance to change it's mind.

The latest illustration of that constantly repeating history has just come to light here in China. I'll get to that in a moment.

You see, things like that aren't really a big deal. If you're smart enough, you can work around any governmental roadblock. Again with my '49er's metaphor; the people who made the most of their lives back then weren't the prospectors themselves; but all the people who set up taverns, supply shops, and whorehouses in the central prospecting townships.

That was what I came here to do. I never had any interest in doing business with China, I just came here to take advantage of it's newly booming economy to jump start my own interests that were transmutable in any locale. The moment I touched down, I discovered just how non-existent that economy was.

Now, it didn't worry me at that time. Just as in California, as long as nobody else found out how big the lie was, I could still ride the wave. Even though things weren't so hot for the locals, there was more than enough pass-through economy to take advantage of. Not to mention, all those "friends" of the government that were getting a share in whatever good was coming from all this, would love to do business with an exotic white boy like me. All I had to do was find them and introduce myself.

Well, time's up. The World Trade Organization finally did their homework.

China's economy is 40% Smaller than everyone thought. There is no gold here. There isn't even any copper. I may as well be living in Mexico.

So, the FrogFaith gang and I held a meeting. After much deliberation, it has been decided that China is finished. The Fake Gold Rush is over. Now that everyone knows there is no gold here, there's no point in keeping our whorehouse open.

Not to say that we're giving up; No, no, no. Never give up. Never Surrender.

China still has it's value. It's just a matter of resetting our game plan. Finding a new market to cater to, and using our low-low Chinese overhead to our advantage. We have business connections in Los Angeles, Chicago, and Scotland that we are currently tapping.

But, we are definitely getting the heck out of here. It may be a few months before we get out, and we're not yet sure where we will go when we do. We've already been at this too long to hit the Reset button again, so we'll be working at somehow making a smooth transition of some kind. Preferably back to The States, but Europe is not out of the question.

It's funny. Looking back at this blog, I really thought I would have more to say about my two years here. Cultural quirks, travel adventures, anecdotes of local color.

I guess that's the big secret. There really isn't anything that special about China. It sucks here too.

TTFN

Check me out....(Part 2)

Well, I finally got the pictures from my last photo shoot. These were massively delayed on account that the company decided to change their logo after the pictures were taken, so the photolab had to work some PhotoShop magic on all the shirts I wore.

While the last shoot I did was for a catalog that wanted to disguise itself as a High-end fashion magazine, this shoot was for a more direct catalog approach.

And behold...I have grown hair upon my face...

The "Post" Post

I have finally worked out the whole "mailing address" thing. I can't for the life of me figure out how any of my neighbors get their mail. As far as I can tell there is no mailbox for this building.

So, with permission from the English school I'm currently part-timing for, you may send me post there. Below is a label you can save and print out to paste to any letters, postcards, parcels, etc you wish to send me.



A year and a half later, I finally have a mailing address. I am really getting it together out here, aren't I?

Check me out....

I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I've been doing a little modeling here and there. Yeah, me...a model. Go figure.

Anyway. One of the magazine's I shot for just published. Here is what I looked like about 2 months ago.



In just a couple days, I should have more pictures from a catalog I shot for last week. Prepare yourself. There's been a bit of a change.