Everyday Use

For the English class I'm teaching, I've been given a couple of different textbooks for use in better helping my students understand what the heck I'm saying to them. One of those books is an apparent vocabulary text. I don't know exactly what kind of book it is suppose to be, since the entire cover is in Chinese.

The book very simply gives a word in english, followed by it's Chinese translation. Then, a sentence or passage using the word in "common, everyday usage" is directly under it, with the Chinese translation of the passage under that.

Here are a few of my favorites so far:

apartment/flat/unit
They were evicted from their appartment after their mother had become addicted to drugs.

Chinese quadrangle
She grew up in a Chinese quadrangle in a Hutong of Beijing and had a lot of intimate neighbors who spoiled her like a little princess.

bumper cars
Newton's third law of motion comes into play on the bumper cars. It's the law of action-reaction, and it helps to explain why you feel a jolt when you collide with another bumper car.

charger
Please keep a charger far from water.

electric torch
Bringing an electric torch is essential when one is camping out. Sometimes it's a good weapon to protect oneself.

B & B (bed and breakfast)
Prices for bed and breakfast start at $22 per person, rising to $40.50 in the high season. My goodness, I am nearly broke.

twin room
My dad and I booked a twin room when we traveled in Hongkong. However, the room service is actually awsome.

Colosseum
While you can't catch a real-life gladiator death match or chariot battle anymore, the Colosseum is still a great place to visit on your travels through Italy.

family tree
Actually I'll never change my name, since according to my family tree, my should be one. By the way, I like it as well.

cognomen (note: I have never heard this word before in my life.)
Actually I don't think cognomen sounds terrible since they sometimes bring me some good memory of past time.

petite
She was dark and petite, as all his wives had been.

middle finger
Giving someone the middle finger has long been considered a derogatory gesture.

puppet
In my childhood, those puppets were often praised and got candies as encouragement.

Now, I have no idea if these passages were written by Native Chinese or Native English speakers (money is on Chinese, though), but this is nothing like the "Juan is in the boat" garbage I got while learning Spanish.

Passing For Professional

So, now I'm teaching English classes. The school is new, so the class is small. As of now, I have only 3 students. The goal of the class is not just a general "Hola! Como Estas?" kind of class. My students are bound for University in Austrailia and the UK. In order to be accepted to any of these colleges, they must pass a standardized ESL test. My class is geared specifically to passing that test.

The fact that this is a new school in a competitive market is beginning to show it's colors. Even though I'm a foreigner and only been teaching for a week, I'm already quite sure that the people who run my school have absolutely no clue what they're doing.

For starters, I gave a homework assignment to my students. Afterwards, Athena (a Chinese born teacher that I work closely with) told me that I shouldn't expect them to do the work.

"Why not?" I asked.

"They are lazy boys," shey said to me. "I gave them an assignment yesterday. None of them did it."

"I see," I said. "Well, we'll give them one last chance to do the work that I assign."

"Okay," she says. "What will the punishment be if they do not?"

It seemed like a strange question. "Uh, I assume they paid a tuition for this class, yes?" She nods. "So their punishment is that they do not pass the EILTS test, and have wasted their money."

"Ah," she says. "But if they do not pass the EILTS test, then they will be allowed to take the class again for free."

I wasn't sure I'd heard her correctly, and asked her to repeat herself. No luck, that was what she said.

"Who's idea was this?" I asked.

"I believe it was Judy."

Judy. I hate Judy. Judy tried passing me a contract that had my wage at half what we had agreed upon when I took the job. When I called her on it, she had the gall to tell me that I was not qualified for the origional wage, and that I can have a raise if I get more students into the class within six months.

As I was on my way out the door, middle finger in the air, the vice-principal stopped me and offered me even more money than before.

This chain of events taught me some very important lessons about this school. 1) Judy is an imbicile. 2) For some reason, Judy has been put in charge. 3) Nobody knows why she's in charge, and do their best to work around her. 4) As the only Native English Speaker on staff, I am more valuable than Judy.

All of these reasons put together equal one very important fact: This school will be out-of-business before the end of the year. I'm not saying that I'm not talented, but let's face facts folks, any team that has me as the MVP will not be going to the playoffs that year.

So, as we re-negotiated my contract, I also insisted on being paid every week as opposed to every month. That way, when they go under, I'm not losing out on as much.